SHAFAQNA – It is not that the woman should obey her husband in all cases. Not at all. There is no such command in Islam or Sharia. The Qur’anic verse 4:39 which says men are supporters of women, does not mean that woman should obey her husband on every issue.
No! Nor is it like some individuals who are Europeanized, or worse than Europe in copying their culture in that the woman should be in charge of everything, and the man should obey her. No, this is wrong, too. They are two partners, two companions. Sometimes the man should give up his interest, and sometimes the woman. Sometimes one gives up his or her desire or taste, and sometimes the other; so that the two can live together in peace.
April 08, 1998
God has created the nature of women delicately. There are fingers which are quite big and unwieldy, and they’re good for removing a stone from the ground, but if they are to touch a tiny gem, it is unlikely that they can do so. On the other hand, there are fingers which are delicate and long; they cannot remove a stone, but they can pick up the tiny gem or gold piece. This is also true for men and women. Each have their own unique responsibility. No one can say whose responsibility is greater. They both have a heavy responsibility. They are both needed. Since the woman’s spirit is gentler, it needs more peace. She needs a trusty source of comfort and reliance. What is that point to rely on? It is her husband. That is how they are put together.
August 28, 2002
Sometimes it happens that a man takes the role of a woman at home. The woman becomes the dictator and orders the man to do this and not to do that. The man surrenders. Well, such a man cannot be a good source of stability for the woman. Women would like to have a good source to rely on, Sometimes it is the other way around, for instance, everything from shopping and dealing with various issues is laid on the woman. Why? Because, the man says, “I am busy, I have other things to do.” It’s about him not having the time?! He says, “I go to work so the woman should do everything involving the home.” Heavy work is left for the woman to carry out. It might keep her busy for a few days, but this is not her job!
Source: Ahlul Bayt Islamic Mission (AIM)